A young Indian in the US was asked by his mother to explain the significance of “Diwali” to his younger brother.
This is how he went about it…
” So, like this dude had, like, a big cool kingdom and people liked
him. But, like, his step-mom, or something, send this cool-dude, he was Ram, to some national forest or something…
Since he was going, for like, something like more than 10 years or
so, he decided to take his wife and his bro along… you know…so
that they could all chill out together.
But Dude, the forest was reeeeal scary shit… really man… they had
monkeys and devils and shit like that.
But this dude, Ram, kicked *** with darts and bows and arrows… so
it was fine. But then some bad gangsta boys, some jerk called Ravan,
picks up his babe (Sita) and lures her away to his hood.
And boy, was our man, and also his bro, Laxman, pissed… And you
don’t piss this son-of-a-gun cuz, he just kicks *** and like… all
the gods were with him… So anyways,you don’t mess with gods.
So, Ram, and his bro get an army of monkeys.. Dude, don’t ask me
how they trained the monkeys…just go along with me, ok… so,
Ram, Lax and their monkeys whip this gangsta’s *** in his own
Anyways, by this time, their time’s up in the forest..and
anyways…it gets kinda boring, you know… no TV or malls or shit like
that. So,they decide to hitch a ride back home… and when the people
realize that our dude, his bro and the wife are back home…
they thought, well, you know, at least they deserve something
nice… and they didn’t have any bars or clubs in those days… so
they couldn’t take them out for a drink, so they, like, decided to
smoke and shit…and since they also had some lamps they lit the
So it was pretty cooool… you know with all those fireworks…
Really, they even had some local band play along with the fireworks…
and you know, what, dude, that was the very first, no kidding.., that
was the very first music-synchronized fireworks!
And, so dude, that was how, like, this festival started…”